i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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