I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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