Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
