thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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