are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
