I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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