i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize