He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
