I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
