i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We smell like vodka and hangover
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