currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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