why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize