He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
