I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
