Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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