I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
