it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
