it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
