when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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