im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
