you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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