I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
