The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
