no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
