my mouth tastes like poor choices
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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