You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
