Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
