i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
