well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
