I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize