I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
