He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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