i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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