I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
