so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
