i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
