my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
