just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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