I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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