Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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