yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize