Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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