yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
