The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize