I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
