Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
