Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
