awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
