you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
