My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
