Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
