Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Please don't give away my fajitas
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