I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
