The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
