He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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