I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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