I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
