dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
