id be glad to
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
