i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Randomize
