When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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