I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
