It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
